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'The Power of Thank You... Mastering the Art of Gratitude'*
A Sure Path to Healing and Happiness
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Expressing feelings of despair and dissatisfaction are useful for one's personal growth as long as it is part of a constructive process. There is limited value in beating the drum of 'how bad everything is' and 'how if it were not for this or that our lives would be so much better'. All we really achieve from this kind of activity is pollution and stagnation, which prevents growth. This way of being also means we do not see solutions because we spend too much time living in the problem, which magnifies the problem and extends its influence, which disempowers us in the process.
Expressing what it is we are unhappy with is valuable in order that we can see what needs to be done, but if all we do is complain we create a self-limiting prison for ourselves. It is within this prison that negative beliefs are born. A common sub-conscious belief that limits so many of us is that life seems to punish us and reward others, and there is very little we can do about it. This creates a victim consciousness which can be described as 'poor me' but this consciousness is only really useful if it motivates change. If on the other hand we make this mind-set our home, never daring to venture beyond its walls then we slowly die under its influence.
The power of thank you is limitless, the more we find things to be thankful about, great and particularly small then the more growth and well-being floods into our lives. The 'poor me' consciousness simply creates a culture of pessimism and negativity, a culture that overshadows our positive state of being. Whereas the vast vocabulary and the colourful language of thank you creates positivity and a real appreciation of things that are so easily overlooked. Thank you helps us to savour life and find beauty and truth, it helps us discover our true nature, abilities and talents. Thank you stokes the fire of creativity and introduces us to higher levels of awareness and consciousness. The thank you process motivates us to act because the appreciation that it produces gives us real power. It is a power that inspires, a power that rejoices more and complains less, a power that realises our lives are dictated most of all by what thoughts we generate in our minds.
The power of thank you is not an attack on the self pitying consciousness because self pity does have a place in our lives. The power of thank you is about understanding one way to move out of self pity and victim-hood. It is about realising that whatever the state of our lives we do have the power and ability to influence things positively. We do not have to wait for chance, or some miracle to bring change to our circumstances, we can create our own miracles by being more thankful.
Starting from today create some thank you statements. Take a close look at your life and find at least half a dozen things you take for granted, or overlook and never really consider the value and importance of. Then make these thank you statements into affirmations that you can recite throughout the day, particularly before you go to sleep at night and before you get out of bed in the morning. By reciting these thank you's at least twice a day there will be meaningful growth that starts appearing in your life and that growth will eventually bear good fruit. The power of thank you is particularly valuable in the face of life's challenges and if we can find something to be grateful for, something that can be celebrated, we can and do move forward more quickly taking necessary lessons and truth with us. Remember practice, patience and perseverance guarantee success. So try saying thank you more and watch a different perspective, attitude and set of values and beliefs begin to unfold which will serve to free you from your self limiting prison. It is time to free yourself with the power of thank you.
POWER OF THANK YOU 2
Try out this thought for size; ‘My life is perfect. I have everything that I need and I am truly grateful’. Spend a day reciting this thought in your mind over and over again. If it helps, write it down again and again. Just try for twenty-four hours to truly embrace this thought and see what happens. If there’s even the slightest improvement in your day or how you feel, make a deal with yourself to do it for another day. And why not keep doing this whilst it continues to work for you?
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Those of you who are familiar with the Reach Approach will understand that we passionately believe wellbeing is a healthy marriage between mind, body, spirit and environment. It’s a beautiful dance between all four, where each performs its role gracefully and harmoniously. It’s a wonderful contract of interdependence where each aspect performs its function with respect for itself and the whole organism. In other words, health is a state of non- rivalry. So therefore, anything we do that spoils the dance, corrupts the contract or contaminates the relationship, denies us health and wellbeing. Complaining does just that. The more we complain, the more we have to complain about. The more we give thanks, the more we will have to be grateful for. This is so simple and in many ways obvious and yet its depth and power is still not fully understood.
Complaining has many forms. It is not simply the act of ‘wittering on’ or grumbling to yourself and others. That’s the obvious expression of complaint. To complain means being frustrated with your life, being dissatisfied with your relationships, doubting yourself, your talents and abilities. It’s a life of comparing and competing, striving to mask your deficiencies and shortcomings; a life of overcompensating in order to be liked and to fit in. It’s a turbulent river of dissatisfaction that runs through the landscape of your life. It eats away at you, telling you you’re not good enough, what you have is not good enough and propels you to pursue things you don’t need to make you feel better about yourself and your reality. Can you relate to this? Are you complaining and haven’t even realised? Our research and clinical experience clearly shows that the majority of people are complaining in some form. They simply aren’t aware of it. Why not take a closer look at your life and note how much you pretend, defend, justify and deny (these are just some of the offspring of complaining)........ Why not do that now?
Take up our challenge. Develop the habit of ‘thank you’. An attitude of gratitude will completely change your perception and perspective. Just as a culture of complaint has bent you out of shape (distorted your true nature), the practice of ‘thank you’ will not only restore your beauty, it will attract everything you need into your life. Complaining takes you further away from yourself and the truth, whilst ‘thank you’ brings you into a loving embrace with your purpose and potential. In other words, you stop living as a passenger in your own life, wondering which way the vehicle will take you next. Instead you move into the driver’s seat with a confidence in what you need to do and where you need to go. It’s so satisfying. Try this thought; ‘My life is perfect, I have exactly what I need and for that I am truly grateful’. Even though your life may not be perfect and may not be exactly as you wish it to be right now, by daring to think in this way, both your psychology and biology are positively affected. You are what you think you are. Your perceptions and your beliefs do shape your reality. Find things to be grateful for every day and things to be grateful for will come and find you! The laws of cause and effect relate to everything in our
world so try sending out the right signals and watch the inevitable return of your preferred outcomes (your dreams). This one act will save your life if you let it. Practice the power of thank you faithfully. It has untold depths and it never disappoints.
THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF.....
The more you complain the more you will have to complain about. The more you give thanks the more you will have to be grateful for. The more that you walk a path of appreciation and gratitude, the richer your life will be. This is real wealth, the wealth of peace and contentment, a life that lacks nothing. So our invitation to you is to play the game of saying thank you for the gift of.... The more of these you can generate for yourself, the better. Below are some that we believe are universally applicable.
Thank you for the gift of my enemies and for the opportunities to develop forgiveness and kindness.
Thank you for the gift of this moment, as it allows me to fully blossom into ‘me’.
Thank you for the gift of my friendships and for the love and the support that they bring.
Thank you for the gift of my challenges, for the insight, growth and wisdom that they offer. Thank you for the gift of each day and the opportunity for greater peace, joy and happiness.
Thank you for the gift of my body and the countless wonders it performs each day.
Thank you for the gift of a life in which I can serve and benefit others with no desire for myself.
Thank you for the gift of sleep and for the renovation and repair that takes place each night.
Thank you for the gift of tomorrow which, when I allow, always adds value and meaning to my life.
Thank you for the gift of silent reflection that offers the unravelling of the mind’s many mysteries.
Thank you for the gift of the inner wisdom that lives deep within my heart.
Thank you for the gift of nature in all her wonderful guises and magnificent forms, she’s amazing!
Thank you for the gift of my life and the opportunity that each day brings for positive change.
Thank you for the gift of my family, who offer me the chance to develop patience and unconditional love.
A life of thank you is a rich and full life. It’s kind to you and those around you. It’s full of smiles and laughter where a gentle river of insight flows continuously through the mind, touching every cell and sinew. A life of gratitude soothes hurts and pain, evaporates anger and reframes your perspective. Why drown in the ‘cesspit of complaint’. Has it ever served you well? Try immersing your mind in the ‘gift of thank you’. It’s power is truly breathtaking. It will undoubtedly redefine your life. If you do anything today, say THANK YOU with all your heart.
*See the originalarticle which was first published in The Reach Approach: The Power of Thank You... Mastering the Art of Gratitude
...And now for more reflection on what was noted above, visit 'My Wisdom Corner', a few examples of the many gems I have discovered in my life journey from the wisdom of others. They have opened new horizons in my life. For that I cannot be grateful enough: 'My Wisdom Corner'
"Passing of Knowledge" by Victor Tan Wee Tar
What is this life all about?
Why am I here? What’s my Life’s purpose? How can I make the most of my Life?
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The country star best known for his many great songs, such as I Believe In You, My Best Friend, Good Ole Boys Like Me, Tulsa Time and many more, as well as his laid-back demeanor died on Friday following a short illness at his home in Alabama.
I was very sad to hear of the passing of Don Williams. I must admit, I very much liked his voice, music, songs, the lyrics, as well as the way he projected peacefulness, contentment, and being at ease with oneself.
Before I share more about Don Williams, I wish to share a personal story.
I few year back, I wanted to get something speacil for my wife’s birthday. I was wondering what? I was looking for a meaningful gift, not just a dinner and wine and the red rose! I wanted to tell her she is MY Best Friend!
Then, I heard that Don Williams was touring England and very close to Annie's Birthday he was going to be at Birmingham Symphony Hall. The rest is history. I got the tickets. We went to the concert and Don so beautifully sang my favorite song: You're My Best Friend
Music is manna for the soul, and nectar for the spirit."
‘The health of the physical body is inextricably tied to our emotional, mental and spiritual health. Music is a powerful catalyst for healing because it touches the very core of humanity... our souls. With music, we can remember our connection to the Creator and the powerful Healer within. We can take control of our health and our lives as we enjoy the healing sound of music.’-A Path with Heart
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I have found good and meaningful music, accompanied by lovely words, very healing, soothing, and helping me to be hopeful for a better world.
Don Williams RIP
On Friday his publicist confirmed Williams, who was known as “the Gentle Giant” because of his easygoing temperament, died after a short illness.
Williams had 17 No 1 hits in the US and was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame in 2010, before he retired in 2016. Williams was known for his rich voice, gentle delivery and storytelling style. He toured sparingly, did few media interviews and spent much of his time on his farm west of Nashville.
His career started as a musician in Portland, a city he moved to from his native Texas, where he was born in 1939. He moved to Nashville in the late 60s and wrote songs for some of country’s biggest names, including “Cowboy” Jack Clement.
“It’s one of those blessings and curses kind of things,” Williams said in an interview with the Associated Press in 1994. “There’s very few things in my life that I’ve done that come anywhere close to making you feel exhilarated and humbled and fulfilled and challenged and all that, all at the same time.”
His hits included I Believe in You, Lord, I Hope This Day Is Good, You’re My Best Friend, Some Broken Hearts Never Mend, and Till the Rivers All Run Dry. Eric Clapton recorded his We’re More Than Friends and Pete Townshend redid his Til the Rivers All Run Dry.
“Don Williams offered calm, beauty, and a sense of wistful peace that is in short supply these days,” said Kyle Young, CEO of the Country Music Hall of Fame in a statement on Friday. “His music will forever be a balm in troublesome times.”*
*Excerpts above are from The Guardian, Saturday 9 September 2017
Hear more of Don’s music:
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A brief introductory remarks by Prof. Kamran Mofid, Founder, Globalisation for the Common Good Initiative (GCGI) and Co-founder and Associate Director (1996-1999), Centre for the Study of Forgiveness and Reconciliation at Coventry University
Forgiveness and Reconciliation: The Keystones of Human Values
"We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude toward it. Uproot guilt and plant forgiveness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate --- thereby, making the present comfortable and the future promising."- Maya Angelou
Ambassadors’ Lecture Series: A bird’s eye view
In 1986 I was awarded my PhD in Economics at University of Birmingham and soon after I was appointed full-time senior lecturer at the Department of Economics at Coventry Polytechnic (now University).
At an international conference in London in 1986, I met the then director of the Anglo-Japanese Economic Institute, Mr. George Bull. We became very good friends. Indeed, George was like a father figure to me- a source of wisdon and inspiration. He introduced me to Japan and to many Japanese friends and facilitated some of my trips to Japan. We did many national and international conferences together, including: Japan and the U.K. Economy; Forgiveness and Reconciliation; NAFTA and the EU; Japan and the Global Economy; and Iran and the Emerging Global Order, all held at Coventry University.
We also together - in association with and supported by the University, the Cathedral and the City Council - instigated and co-founded the Centre for the Study of Forgiveness and Reconciliation at Coventry University and as part of its work, in association with the Ambassadors’ Lecture Series, which we had co- founded already, invited international speakers including the former presidents of Ireland and South Africa, namely, Mrs. Mary Robinson, and F.W. de Klerk to deliver lectures at Coventry Cathedral. Moreover, we also invited other international speakers including Ambassadors of Japan, Germany, Italy, Egypt, Mexico and the High Commissioner of Canada to deliver lectures on the need for dialogue and mutual respect amongst different cultures and civilisations at Coventry’s St. Mary’s Guildhall.
The Ambassadors’ Lecture Series aimed at enabling the ambassadors a frank exposition of their respective countries’ policies to a far wider audience in search of better understanding of why particular nations and peoples have acted in certain ways and what changes are desirable and feasible in different nations’ aims and attitudes.
The anniversary of the end of the Second World War, the Pacific War, made the decision of the Ambassador of Japan to accept our invitation to give the very first Ambassador’s Lecture especially significant and timely.
Remembering a Beautiful Day
The Day when the Centre for the Study of Forgiveness and Reconciliation was established
Remembering an extraordinary and inspiring day, 11 March 1996, when President Mary Robinson came to Coventry, the first visit to Coventry by an Irish President
“I am deeply honoured to have been invited to inaugurate your Centre for the Study of Forgiveness and Reconciliation with this lecture, and to act as the Centre’s Patron.” -Mary Robinson, President of Ireland
I remember this day very affectionately, with pride and honour. A few months earlier, George Bull and I had sent a letter, if my memory serves me right, through the Irish Ambassador in London (a close personal friend of George) to President Robinson, inviting her to deliver the inaugural lecture of the Centre for the Study of Forgiveness and Reconciliation, and to act as the Centre’s Patron.
Then, on 12 January 1996 I received a fax from the Irish Embassy in London with the most pleasing and wonderful news, that President Mary Robinson has most graciously accepted our invitation to come to Coventry, to deliver the inaugural lecture of the Centre for the Study of Forgiveness and Reconciliation, and to act as the Centre’s Patron.
President Mary Robinson’s Address at Coventry Cathedral, Monday 11 March 1996
Remembering another Beautiful Day in Coventry
In early 1997, George and I submitted a letter of invitation to former President F. W. de Klerk of South Africa, to give the Second Lecture of the Centre at Coventry Cathedral.
was delighted and honoured when a few weeks later I received a fax that he had graciously accepted our invitation, and on 2 September 1997 Mr de Klerk came to Coventry, delivering his timely lecture “Principles of Forgiveness and Reconciliation” at the Cathedral.
Former President F.W. de Klerk’s Address at Coventry Cathedral, 2 September 1997
Life is so full of unpredictable beauty and strange surprises
As many people, wiser than me have noted, our lives and the world in which we all live, are so unpredictable. Things happen suddenly, unexpectedly. We want to feel we are in control of our own existence. In some ways we are, in some ways we're not ... Life, it can bring you so much joy and yet at the same time cause so much pain.
I was so devastated that after this wonderful journey, full of joy and happiness, achievements and success, due to some reasons beyond my control, I started to feel unwell, unhappy, not enjoying what I was doing and teaching, especially when I lost all confidence in the value of moral-free economics that I was teaching my students, and more.
In 1999 I voluntarily resigned from my post at Coventry University. It goes without saying that, I was heartbroken and extremely hurt that I was unable to nurture and develop further what I had envisioned and built.
Looking back, reflecting on what has happened, I think, somehow, somebody, somewhere, had planned it so that I, too, should have a life, similar to the life of Coventry itself: fall and rise again, a topic to which I will return in the second part of "My Coventry Story", covering 2000-2017.
Once again, thank you Coventry, my Coventrian friends, the sources of my inspiration and strength. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to you all.
For a fuller and more detailed explanation of the story behind the establishment of the Centre for the Study of Forgiveness and Reconciliation see:
Coventry City of Peace, Forgiveness and Reconciliation
'Father Forgive’: Coventry Cathedral and my life’s journey of discovery
This is the Story of a Boy from Iran who became a Man in Coventry
Text of a presentation given in St Michael’s House, Coventry Cathedral on 26 July 2017 by Professor Kamran Mofid
“To be a person is to have a story to tell.” — Isak Dinesen
‘Father Forgive’: Coventry Cathedral and my life's journey of discovery
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- UK’s Broken Economic Model: A New Path is Called for- I offer you the Common Good
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- A Non-Violent Path to Conflict Resolution and Peacebuilding- Kamran Mofid (Editor), et al
- ...And now, Lest we forget…